Escape the
Internet
Group Project Presents
It’s midnight on the Internet. You opened Instagram three hours and 39 minutes ago. Since then, you’ve somehow watched a stranger power-wash a driveway, replied “same” to a raccoon, and panic-ate because a wellness influencer said your cortisol is too high. You didn’t choose to be here – but you also haven’t left. In 2026, it feels like a requirement to be trapped online.
That’s why, this holiday season, we’re here to help you escape the Internet! (It is not lost on us that this quiz is online. But it was this or a singing telegram. You’re welcome.)
Here’s how this works: Each room is a different corner of the Internet, and you pick the way you want to break out. How you escape tells us how you really unplug – and what your reward should be for surviving the year. Good luck! We’ll see you on the other side.